My childhood was not always easy or charmed. There were Christmas' with no gifts, I learned at a very young age that Santa was a guy that didn't come to everyone's house, weather you were a good girl or not. I have seen the worst in people, I have seen people I care about beat down until they have no fight left to give. I had to learn very early in life that the human condition is often one of fear, of weakness and people can only pull from their life situation to make decisions. Or so I thought.
Your past can define you OR you can fight back. It all depends on the spark at the center of your soul. Every day I see people constantly perpetuate stereotypes and allow their lives to be defined by their past and the past of their parents.
Call me crazy but I don't think it has to be that way. I believe that we can use our past to strive for something more to reach up out of the sadness and to make a better life for our children so they will not relive the same struggles we've had, our parents had.
I use my past struggles as a base line. When I drank way too much, when I ate way too much... when I everythinged too much. We can only change these things if we can define them. I don't want to live in the past. I don't want to wake up feeling like shit every day. I don't want to drink my sadness away... anymore.
These behaviors were a life time ago, but I remember them. I used to try to put these things as far away from my memory as I could, and I suppose that was part of the problem. Now, I remember and I realize how far I have come. I don't have to bury my sadness in alcohol or food anymore. I have changed. Change is possible, it's not easy but it is possible.
So I urge you... don't get caught up in the past but remember it. How else can you measure your success? Wear your old heart ache and failures on your chest like a badge of honor from the wars you've fought before. Don't live in this time but let it ignite the fire in your soul to be a little better today than you were yesterday!